85 Year Old Woman

Gardening books and gloves...bird feeders, butterflies and binoculars...boxes of very organized papers...picture albums full of memories and stories...bowling team memorabilia...beautiful Bert Seabourn artwork...meticulous needlepoint pictures...two loving dogs...these are the reminders of an amazing life, a life of accomplishment, a life of intentionality, a life of loves and passions, a life of humor and wit, a life of a positive attitude that overcame every obstacle. This was the life of RN. Though her time on this earth came to a peaceful end on January 16th with her daughter standing vigil for this most important woman in the lives of her family, her influence, her impact, and her memories will last forever.

We gather today because that's what people do. Since the beginning of time it has been part of the human condition that we stop and acknowledge the death of someone. To give honor to a life lived and to begin to figure out what that loss means to the ones left behind. To provide a sacred space for the pain and grief. To establish the significance and unique aspects of a life lived. To catch our breath and begin the first shaky steps toward reconstructing a new reality.

When a woman who was such a large presence in so many lives has lived a long and full life, the need for a safe gathering of those who loved her is even more necessary. It is in the tears and stories that each of you can find comfort and healing. So, we gather today, because that’s what people do.

Welcome, I’m honored and privileged to be the Funeral Celebrant for our time together today as we celebrate the life and mourn the death of RN. We are here for her family. . . We are here for your journey. We are here for your stories. We are here for your times of joy and times of sadness. We are here.

On behalf of the family, thank you for being here for this most important moment. Whether you knew RN as a bowler, a gardener, a realtor, a mother figure, a friend--she was a shining light on your journey. She touched your heart, made you laugh or inspired you to achieve. You took the time, traveled from near and far, to be here, to stand in remembrance, to carve out time for the memories, to share the stories, to pledge to the family that you are dedicated to accompanying them on their grief journey.

We’ll see the snapshots of her life, hear the stories and leave this place today knowing that you were lucky and blessed to have been a part of R’s world.

Let us begin with a moment of silence, a moment to quiet your thoughts, a moment to focus on your memories. Then we will watch the video that captures a few of the times of Ramona’s life.

Moment of Silence

Video Tribute

I’ve been a Life Tribute Celebrant for many years and have had the privilege of hearing so many amazing stories. Some are young, some are less than young, all made an impact upon the people around them. I sit with the family to hear the stories, to hear the struggles and successes, to understand the person that we gather to celebrate. As you listen, you begin to see the picture of a life painted on the canvas of memories.

When I met with her daughters, they showed me the certificate from the National Federation Wildlife Foundation recognizing RN as a curator of a garden for wildlife. She created a safe space, a nurturing environment, a place to grow and thrive for all. Not only did she do this for the birds and butterflies and bees, she did this for everyone in her world. She just took care of everyone who wandered into her garden of life. . . .

14 Year Old Suicide

Welcome. My name is Glenda Stansbury and, on behalf of B Funeral Home, I’m honored and humbled to be the Funeral Celebrant for our time together today, celebrating the life and mourning the death of KT. Each person in this room comes with a numb mind and unbelieving heart that we are gathered here, on a beautiful Saturday to do this. Not KT. Not this happy, healthy, beautiful and talented girl. Not now. She should be shopping or hanging out with her friends. We should not be here.

But, gather we must, because that’s what people do. Throughout the history of the world, it is an innate need to stop, to acknowledge, to make the world slow down for a few minutes, to carve out a sacred space so we can remember, reflect and revel in the stories and begin that slow journey on the path of grief. Thank you for being here for these most important moments.

We are here for KT’s family. . . Everyone in this room promises to be a wall of strength and safety when you need a place to cry, to rage, to tell stories or just to sit quietly with your thoughts. Each person here pledges not to ask how or why, but what—what do you need, what can I do, what will help you today?

It is human nature to want to have answers to all the questions. But, sometimes life teaches us that the only thing we can do is stare into the unknown abyss and find peace in memories rather than resolutions. Google has no answers, there are no apps for that. All we can say is that a life is not judged by the length or the final page in the chapter. A life is significant because of all the people she touched, changed, inspired and loved, no matter how long or short the journey.

Today is KT’s day. We’ll share some stories, we’ll laugh and cry, we’ll find ways to open up broken hearts so that the memories can begin to find a place, settle in, and never leave.

We’ll hear from her teachers and her best friends who loved her, see snapshots of a life lived big and out loud, and then accompany this sweet girl on her final journey as we lay her to rest at Memorial Park Cemetery.

When someone so young is gone way too soon and in such a tragic way, it is even more imperative that you stop to catch your breath, to focus on the amazing life that was lived in such a short time and to find a new perspective in how KT will be remembered. Her dying was shattering, her living was incredible. So let’s begin with a moment of silence and lighting a candle for KT. May the warmth of the glow guide us in our sacred time together. . . .

78 Year Old Man

So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumberable caravan which moves
To that Mysterious realm where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,

Thou go not, Like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged by his dungeon; but, sustain'd and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.
-ercerpt from Thanatopsis by William Cullen Bryant

Welcome, my name is Kathy Burns and I am honored to serve as your Funeral Celebrant today. It is an important day when we stop to bear witness to a person's life and times among us, the difference their living and dying made among family and community and to take the time to express our grief, our hope, our wonder and our memories.

We come to stand with Bruce Harkin's family, his wife, Grace, his children & their spouses...

On behalf of the family, thank you for being here for this important moment. You are here because either Bruce touched your life or he touched someone you care about. You will bear witness to Bruce's time among us and your presence helps the family to begin the process of turning tears into comforting memories.

We will begin our time together watching the video the funeral home prepared which captures moments from Bruce's life.

Video Tribute

In 1934 the fight over little Gloria Vanderbilt and her trust fund was being waged in the courts; Henry Ford was paying his workers an extravagant $5 per day; Al Capone was locked up in Alcatraz, and Bruce David Harkin was born. I thought it important to include a little history since there was no one who loved history more than Bruce.

He was especially fascinated with the Santa Fe Trail which was a route in the 196h century which connected Franklin, Missouri with Santa Fe, New Mexico and later to parts beyond. Cloth, needles, thread, knives, files, axes and tools were taken to Santa Fe and silver coins, wool, and a great number of mules were brought back. Missouri became known for its mules, but they really came from to Missouri along this trail. The Santa Fe served as a commercial and military highway until the coming of the railroad to Santa Fe in 1880.

I thought we would pay homage to Bruce's love of the Santa Fe Trail today by exploring his life by "Traveling the Harkin Trail". There are many points of interest along this trail. There are highs and lows, but one thing we know is that wherever Bruce was, there was laughter.

First Stop: Childhood

Cyril Connolly said, "No city should be too large for a man to walk out of in a morning." Well, that was not a problem for Bruce on our first stop along the Harkin Trail, his childhood. Bruce and his siblings, Ted, Noma & Bill, grew up in BeeBee Oklahoma where there was no concern about the city being too large. They grew up in the country. Their social life was going to the Pentecostal Holiness church which they liked because the singing was loud and had a good beat. Noma said she doesn't think they ever listened much but they enjoyed getting together with friends and singing.

Bill remembers they had to walk about half a mile to tend their garden and that in summer, the roads would be so hot from the oil that was used on them that he and Bruce would run from one bit of shade to another.

As Noma said, their life was not plush but there was a lot of love in the home and Bruce always brought plenty of laughter.

Second Stop: Teaching

Speaking about teachers, Dan Rather said, "The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a shard stick called 'truth.'"

Bruce believed that the subject of history was vital, that you were not well educated if you didn't know history. That is why he was such an outstanding history teacher...

40 Year Old Man

...French artist, Henri Matisse said, "Creative people are curious, flexible, persistent, and independent with a tremendous spirit of adventure and a love of play."

BB was a creative person. He was curious and Independent, and yes, he did have a spirit of adventure and he most definitely had a love of play. Throughout the stories we share here today, we will see time and time again the creative spirit that shows up in every part of his life: throughout his childhood, within his relationships, and certainly in his chosen profession.

B began to show signs of that independent, creative spirit fairly early on when, at the age of five, he set his bed on fire! Apparently, he was experimenting with a lighter under his bed when things got a little out of hand.

Like many kids, B enjoyed skateboarding, bike riding, comic books, and playing pool...activities he continued to enjoy on into adulthood. But, unlike many kids, he managed to get kicked out of grade school. I'm not totally sure of the whole story behind that, but I'm sure there's a good one.

Someone once said that, "Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."

I have a feeling L can attest to that. Age 17 was a banner year for B. During that year one night he stole his dad's truck to go joy riding with friends. He was in for quite a shock when he came sneaking into the house in the middle of the night only to discover that his dad was not asleep and was well aware what he had been up to.

On another occasion that year, he took a horrific fall at Lake Overholser when the ground gave way out from underneath him and he broke his back. The doctors expected that he would be paralyzed, but he showed his tremendous persistence and determination by fighting through the pain to be able to regain his mobility.

It was also at age 17 that B first tried his hand at tattooing.

We will now pause to listen to a song chosen by L because it makes him think of B, To Know Him is to Love Him by the Teddy Bears.

Song

Friendship isn't a big thing--it's a million little things. - Author Unknown

B had a way of adding his fun, creative, loving touch to all his relationships.

L described him as being the brother she never had. He called her "Dirty Hippy."

He and his friend, CJ, were sure they had been Mongolian warriors together in a past life.

He and friends J, D, and J began a unique little group called, "The Rabbits Beard Club." They are sporting some beards that apparently take more attention than most women's hair styles.

Brent was a prankster, he had a unique laugh and also some fashion sense shown by his oft repeated words, "Shirts are for work."...