Frequently asked Questions about celebrants
1. What is the difference between a clergy and a Celebrant?
Members of the clergy are prepared to provide funeral services for members of their own faith which may include liturgy, texts, sacred songs, and the specific elements that define that specific religion/denomination/practice.
Celebrants are trained and prepared to provide funeral services for families who are not members of a particular faith or church, or who wish to have a service that is uniquely written for their loved one. We serve that growing group of individuals who may identify as "spiritual but not religious".
2. Does a Celebrant service have to be secular?
No. We are happy to include scriptures, readings, prayers, music or any other elements that are important and meaningful to the family. Every choice that is made about elements of the service is made by the family.
3. Could we also use a minister or other speakers?
Yes. Celebrants are accustomed to sharing the duties with a minister, chaplain or special friend that the family asks to be a part of the service.
4. How does a Celebrant work?
a. The Family Meeting: This is one of the most vital and healing aspects of a Celebrant's work. Not only is that 1 to 2 hour gathering a time to hear the stories in order to design and write a personalized service for the deceased, but it is also an important time for the family to share stories, to begin to grieve together and to develop safe places with each other for their memories.
b. Presiding vs Creating: Celebrants see their work as a collaborative and creative process that they share with the family. Presiding or officiating over a funeral is just a small part. Yes, Celebrants are the ones at the podium and they do most of the eulogy presentation and/or MC the other speakers and music or tributes that the family has chosen, but every word is written based upon what they hear from the family, what the family needs, and what will be most beneficial and memorable to those in attendance. InSight Celebrants do not walk in with a prepared service in which they insert the appropriate names, every word is written specifically for that service after meeting with the family.
5. Do I have to use a funeral home to engage a Celebrant?
The majority of our work comes from referrals from funeral homes and we prefer to work with the funeral directors in our area. We find that partnering with a funeral home provides the best experience for families, letting the funeral directors take care of all of the details and overseeing the day so the family can just focus on the gathering and the experience.
Even if your funeral home does not offer a Celebrant service, we are happy to work with any funeral home you have chosen.
If you wish to have a service without the services of a funeral director, you may contact us directly.
6. What does a Celebrant cost?
The fee for Celebrants of OKC is $500. That covers the 8-10 hours needed for the family meeting, writing and conducting the service and/or graveside the day of the service. For families outside the Oklahoma City metro area, there is also a mileage charge (current IRS rate) for traveling to the family meeting and traveling the day of the service.
7. Why have a funeral at all?
Celebrants are passionately dedicated to the concept that a funeral/tribute/gathering is the most important first step in the grief journey. We believe that carving out those special moments to remember and reflect, to gather support from those who attend, to honor a life lived, provides family and friends a healthy place from which to begin to find a new normal after a death. When a family chooses "cremation, no service", they are missing vital and important opportunities for creating memories in safe spaces and sharing their loss with others.
8. What if my loss is a difficult situation?
Celebrants are trained and comfortable being present to a family and creating a service no matter the cause of death or life experiences. We are often called upon to work with families of suicide, homicide, overdoses, abuse and other tragic situations that might be uncomfortable for traditional officiants to handle.
9. Why haven't I heard of Celebrants before?
InSight Institute created the North American Certified Funeral Celebrant training in 1999, modeled on the Civil Celebrant programs of Australia and New Zealand. Since that time, InSight Institute has trained over 4000 Celebrants across the U.S. and Canada. The certification is an intense 3 day, 17 hour immersion in the concepts of grief, the value of the funeral and the techniques of storytelling and listening. For more information about Celebrant training, see www.insightbooks.com/celebrants.
A growing number of funeral homes have actively embraced the concept of Celebrants and offer it as a regular option to their families. Many families discover the possibilities of having a one-of-a-kind, specialized service while attending another funeral conducted by a Celebrant. Some people just find us through word of mouth or recommendation.
“It is with deep gratitude that I write to express our thanks for your services at the memorial for my mother. You carried us all through a difficult time and I felt extraordinary compassion in your doing it. Storytelling is the oldest human art and around the campfire/hearth is where we make sense of it. You told the story around my mother’s campfire of a lifetime and it transported all of us in the telling and transformed our collective spirits in her memory...”